


I Must Be Dreaming

by todxrxki



Series: Kuroken Week 2020 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff and Angst, M/M, band au, but also a soulmate AU, but also a university au, hinted bokuaka and kagehina, kenma has misconceptions about famous band frontman kuroo, kind of a hate to love as well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23685250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/todxrxki/pseuds/todxrxki
Summary: Kenma Kozume, university student and soulmate skeptic, is not fond of all of pop rock band Neko's frontman, Tetsurou Kuroo, believing him to be a party boy and a corporate sellout. However, his world turns upside down when Tetsurou's soulmark gets leaked to the media - and it's a mark that's all too familiar.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: Kuroken Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1701457
Comments: 45
Kudos: 729
Collections: Kuroken Week 2020, My favorite haikyuu fics





	I Must Be Dreaming

_ “Baby, you’re my heart and soul! The only one that keeps me whole, you push me towards my goal…” _

“God,” Kenma gripes. The notes of the song sting like poison to his ears. “I hate this song.”

Shouyou blinks at him over the coffee shop table. “Really? I think it’s sweet!”

“It’s formulaic pop bullshit,” Kenma grumbles, taking an angry bite of his muffin. “Y’know, Neko used to have some artistic integrity back in the day. But these days? It all sounds the same as every other pop rock band out there. Plus that Tetsurou Kuroo guy’s voice is irritating as hell. I’m so sure that this shift in the sound is his fault.”

“Wow. That’s… a lot,” Shouyou says. “I didn’t know you felt so strongly about Neko. But I guess I know now, right?” He grins sheepishly, and Kenma almost feels bad for his rant. It’s physically impossible to be mean when Shouyou’s around.

So Kenma says, “Yeah, well. Anyways, tell me more about this soulmate of yours.”   
  


That sets Shouyou off on another rant about how his soulmate is  _ super cool  _ but also annoying and rude, because he’d called Shouyou a dumbass when they'd first met. Which, as much as Kenma loves Shouyou (platonically, of course), he is kind of a dumbass. Though he probably wouldn’t say that to Shouyou upon first meeting him. Probably.

It brings Kenma’s thoughts back to his own soulmate. People probably assume that Kenma doesn’t have a soulmate, because he doesn’t talk about his soulmark pretty much ever, and he has yet to meet his soulmate, so it’s not like he can talk about them either. His soulmark is distinctive, too, so he’d  _ know  _ if he ever met them. It’s two cats, one black and one calico, situated on his lower back, which suits him well enough because it means that he can hide it easily. He’s not much of a romantic, so he’s not super concerned about meeting his soulmate. But he’s only human. He has to wonder who exactly the universe has assigned him to, especially now that even Shouyou has met his soulmate. 

He hopes it won’t be someone too annoying. He hopes it’ll be someone lowkey, like his friend Keiji. Keiji already has a soulmate, who is unfortunately the opposite of lowkey. Still, Kenma hopes he could get someone with a similar personality, someone who understands him and his need for boundaries and solitude, someone who won’t try to push the whole ‘soulmates’ thing too far. 

“I hope you find your soulmate, Kenma,” Shouyou says too earnestly, earnest to the point that Kenma doesn’t even want to start griping about his issues with the soulmate system. “I just want you to be happy.”

“Yeah, well. I don’t need a soulmate to be happy,” Kenma says. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.”

“That’s what friends do, worry about each other,” Shouyou insists.

“Yeah,” Kenma agrees with a little bit of a smile. It is nice to have friends that care about him, he thinks. Still, Shouyou’s worried about exactly the wrong thing if he’s worried about Kenma’s soulmate, of all things. That’s the last thing on Kenma’s mind. Completely. 

(But would it be so bad to have someone, to not be the third or fifth wheel at every gathering? No, he won't think like that. That’s a thought he’ll push away and suppress for the rest of his life.)

.

Kenma wakes up a few days later to an odd sort of itching on his back, right where his soulmark is. He rubs his back against the bed like a cat, trying to get the itching to go away, but it won’t stop. Maybe his shitty dorm has bed bugs, he thinks. Sighing, he decides that’s the end of his sleep and gets himself out of bed. 

He opens up his Twitter app and glances at the trending topics. Some political thing, something about a celebrity that had passed away, and then - Tetsurou Kuroo. 

He can’t help but be a little curious despite his disdain for Tetsurou. So, despite himself, he clicks on the topic. He kind of hopes it’ll be that Tetsurou got in trouble or something like that. It’d be deserved for how he ruined Neko’s music. Then he chides himself: it’s a bit extreme for someone that had done nothing wrong, aside from sold out to the music industry in Kenma’s opinion: still, it’s the same way countless other musicians had. It’s too far to wish actual harm on him.

And anyways, it’s not because of that. It turns out to be because someone had leaked a photo of Tetsurou’s soulmark. People are showing up in droves to insist that theirs is the same as Tetsurou’s. Kenma sighs, not really caring to see what his soulmark looks like: there’s no way that the universe would be so cruel as to give him Tetsurou Kuroo as his soulmate, of all people. 

Finally, though, his soulmark stops burning. He lays down on his side, letting himself slowly drift off back to sleep.

And sleep he does, peacefully, for a few minutes. But then his phone starts ringing again.

“Hey, Kenma.” It’s Keiji. “Uh, did you see that thing about Tetsurou Kuroo that’s trending?”

“The thing about his soulmark being leaked? Yeah. Why should I care, though? Is it someone we know?”

“Kenma,” Keiji says slowly. “Did you… look at the picture?”

“No. Like I said, there’s no reason to unless it’s somehow relevant to me. I’m not really a celebrity gossip kind of person.”

“I think you should look at it.”  
  
  


“Okay,” Kenma says. “But I still don’t see why…” He pulls up the soulmark picture, enlarges it, and all he can say is, “Oh.”

Kenma’s only seen his soulmark in photos and in the mirror, so he’s never actually seen it with his own two eyes. Still, even with his limited viewing, there can be no mistake. On the screen is an exact replica of Kenma’s soulmark. He has the two cats, a black cat and a calico cat, that are exactly the same as Kenma’s, down to the last detail.

“I’m still sleeping,” Kenma says, his voice hoarse. He pinches himself hard. This has to be a terrible nightmare. There’s no fucking way. “Tell me I'm dreaming. Tell me this isn’t real, Keiji. Please.”

“Well, I’m sorry to have to be the one to break the news to you, but this is real life,” Keiji replies quietly. “It seems that your soulmate is Tetsurou Kuroo.”

“No  _ way _ ,” Kenma repeats. He hears that his voice is rising in pitch, but he can’t even help it. This is straight out of his worst fears. “The universe wouldn’t assign me to him. This is all just some big cosmic mistake.”

“Soulmates aren’t a mistake.”

“Maybe not for you,” Kenma snaps, “but you got someone that fits you, and I got the sellout of the century. What, is he gonna write a formulaic love song about me?”

Keiji’s quiet for a second. Then all he says is, “So what are you going to do about it?”

“Nothing,” Kenma says. “I don’t want him as a soulmate, and hell knows he probably doesn’t want someone like me.”

“You aren’t even going to give this a chance.”

“There’s nothing to give a chance,” Kenma says, and then he hangs up.

.

He feels bad about hanging up later, so he texts Keiji a quick apology. Still, his mind hasn’t changed one bit. He lays back on his bed in his dorm room, his chest sinking. He’s glad he’s never been a romantic at heart. If so, he’d probably feel a bit heartbroken right now: realizing that his dreams of finding someone who could truly understand and relate to him through his soulmate are completely crushed. 

...maybe he is a little bit heartbroken. There’s just no way he and his soulmate could ever get along. He’ll probably never date anyone, then. He doesn’t want to date Tetsurou, knows Tetsurou wouldn’t want a computer science college student who barely leaves his dorm room except to get food and meet his two friends anyways. He probably wants someone who’s sociable and okay with a life of fame. 

It’s not like he likes what he's seen of Tetsurou in the least. Still, the thought of theoretically being rejected by his soulmate is painful. Kenma feels like he might as well be the most pathetic person on the planet.

He lays there a couple more hours in thought and self-pity, missing two of his classes, which is going to be just fantastic for his GPA. But he figures he can be forgiven. He’s in mourning, after all. Mourning for someone he never actually knew.

And he stays in mourning until his curiosity gets the best of him. And then, because he’s a glutton for sadism or something, he opens up YouTube on his phone and searches for an interview of Tetsurou Kuroo. 

He clicks on the first one that comes up. It’s from a couple of years ago, back when his music is half decent, if you ask Kenma, at least. The (much younger at the time) Tetsurou fills the screen. He looks… almost cute, Kenma thinks, then hates himself for it.

“What inspired you to start your band?” the interviewer asks.

“Uh,” Tetsurou says, running a hand through his hair. “I… I wanted to make music that people could enjoy. Well, mainly, I wanted to make music that I could enjoy. I don’t know if that’s exactly a noble ambition.” He chuckles. 

The interviewer chuckles along with him, then says, “I’m sure not everyone has to have an inspirational start. You haven’t been on the road for very long, right? How’s it been so far?”

“Smelly,” Tetsurou says, grinning and bowing his head. “Our bus smells like shit all the time. Probably ‘cause of Morisuke. Nobuyuki smells like the angels, of course.”

“Ah, of course,” the interviewer says. “And how has it been being away from your friends and family?”

“It’s been rough,” Tetsurou admits. “I miss my grandma. That probably makes me a dork, I’m sure, but I do. She’s the coolest. We watch dramas together. She’s introduced me to some life-changing shit, let me tell you. And it’s hard to stay in contact with people that aren’t in your band when you aren’t on the road.”   
  


“That makes sense,” the interviewer says with a nod. “So, tell me more about what inspired  _ Heart of Mine… _ ”

_ Heart of Mine.  _ Kenma had liked  _ Heart of Mine,  _ back in the day. The lyrics had felt heartfelt, the music authentic. He can’t help but wonder what happened to that music, what had happened to this  _ Tetsurou,  _ honestly. The awkward yet charming Tetsurou of these interviews is someone he could see himself actually liking, though he’d never admit it. 

He clicks on a more recent interview. Tetsurou’s posture change is evident: he’s no longer sprawled out, casual and relaxed like in the other interview. No, instead he’s sitting up rigidly, his legs crossed and hands on his knees as the interviewer says, “Hi, good to have you here, Tetsurou.”

Tetsurou plasters on a smile. “Good to be here,” he says in a way that conveys that it’s anything but. 

“You’ve been on tour with Full Soul recently, haven’t you? I’m aware they’re good friends of yours. How has that been?”

“Great, as always,” Tetsurou says, sounding like he’s reading off of a script. “Bo is an amazing friend of mine. Couldn’t ask for better tourmates.”

_ Bo.  _ The name sounds familiar, but… it can’t be. He’s never met Keiji’s soulmate, but Keiji would’ve mentioned if he was a famous band member. Right? Even though Keiji isn’t exactly the type to care about that stuff…

“If you could say one thing to your fans right now, what would it be?”

“I’m so grateful for all of you,” he says. “Thanks for all of your support. We would’ve never gotten this far without you.”

It’s the most generic message in the world. Grimacing, Kenma closes out of the video. Yeah, no way in  _ hell  _ could he ever be soulmates with someone like that.

.

Days pass. Kenma drags himself out of bed and to classes, deciding his mourning period has passed, and to the coffee shop to meet up with Shouyou and Keiji. His life gets back to normal, spinning on the same axis as before: until one day, when he’s in bed playing around on his Switch and his phone buzzes next to him. 

The notification screen says it’s from an unknown number. Kenma blinks: unknown numbers don’t text him, unless it’s someone for a group project or, once, someone Shouyou had tried to set him up with - it hadn’t gone well, since the guy had found his own soulmate just days after their first ‘date’. Maybe it’s a spam text. He frowns, then slides to open it.

And freezes.

_ Someone says we match,  _ the text says, along with that picture of Tetsurou Kuroo’s soulmark that’s been making the rounds on the internet. Kenma gets his breath back and comes to his senses. That picture’s been all over the place. One of his friends could’ve been using it to prank him.

_ hahaha, very funny,  _ Kenma says.  _ keiji, shouyou, whoever this is, give it up. i know this isn’t tetsurou kuroo. _

The reply comes within minutes.  _ I gather that you’ve seen the photos online then, that’s cool. But this is Tetsurou Kuroo. I can call you to show you if you want? _

Kenma does not want to call him. He doesn’t want to talk to whoever this prankster is - or  _ worse _ , Tetsurou Kuroo. But if by some chance it is Tetsurou Kuroo, he figures he can give his supposed ‘soulmate’ one act of mercy. He can answer the call, show his soulmark, and then inform him in no uncertain terms that he’s not interested in being soulmates so that the dude can move on with his life instead of dreaming about his soulmate and how they’d be together one day. So he says,  _ i guess you can facetime me. _

His phone rings with a FaceTime call a few minutes later. He takes a breath before he answers it.  _ It’s just going to be Keiji or Shouyou or one of Shouyou’s stupid friends. It’ll be fine. _

He answers the FaceTime call and then almost drops it. Because the face that’s displayed on the other screen is most definitely that of Tetsurou Kuroo, weird hair and all.

“O-okay,” Kenma says. “Whatever you’re doing to make yourself look like Tetsurou Kuroo, you can stop it now, Shouyou. Or Keiji, or whoever you are.”

The “Tetsurou” on the other line laughs. “I guess that’s fair,” he says in a voice that’s unmistakably that of Tetsurou Kuroo. “But I swear it’s me. The real Tetsurou. You’re Kenma, right? Kozume Kenma?”

“Yeah,” Kenma says, blinking.  _ What the hell is going on.  _

“Uh. Okay. I mean, uh, I guess I should show you that my soulmark is real, right?” He sets down the phone and turns around, tugging up his shirt just enough to show his soulmark. The soulmark that definitely matches Kenma’s.

_ Well, this is happening.  _ Kenma’s eyes widen. “Oh,” he says numbly. “Uh, yeah.” 

Tetsurou sits back down, grinning in a way that doesn’t seem at all characteristic of the Tetsurou he’s seen in interviews. “Uh, I know this is weird, but do you mind if I see yours? Just to make sure. A lot of people have been, uh, faking the tattoos, so I just wanna make sure, y’know.”

Kenma sighs. There’s a part of him that wants to say that there’s no way he’d ever fake it for  _ Tetsurou,  _ of all people, that Tetsurou is the last person on the planet he wants to be soulmates with. But he’s decided he wants to be cordial - cold, but cordial, and for this to work, he has to prove his soulmark is real. So he says, “Give me a second.” He goes to the bathroom and grabs a washcloth, then comes back and pulls up the back of his shirt over the camera. He does his best to maneuver his arms to show that he’s scrubbing at it with the washcloth and of course, it doesn’t come off. “This is as real as it gets,” he says. 

“Yeah, no,” Tetsurou says. “Of course. It’s… exactly the same as mine. In a way that couldn’t possibly be faked. Damn. Well, it’s nice to meet you, soulmate. Y’know, you’re actually… really cute.”

Kenma bites his lip to stop himself from groaning. What a cliche, he thinks bitterly. Better to rip off the bandage sooner than later though. “Listen, Tetsurou. I’m really not trying to be rude here. But I don’t think that we’re suited for each other.”

“Y… you what?” Tetsurou says, voice low, coated in sadness. It’s the most genuine emotion he’s heard from the other guy in recent years. Kenma hadn’t even really thought him capable of it anymore. “You don’t even know me,” he says, his voice a little more even. 

“ _ Everyone  _ knows you,” Kenma says. “I’ve seen your interviews, heard your music, seen the speeches you give and stuff. We aren’t suited for each other.”

“Listen,” Tetsurou replies, “the stuff you see in the interviews, that’s not me. I -”

“Even if that’s true,” Kenma interrupts, feeling oddly daring for once, “you’re famous. You’re rich and successful. We live entirely different lives. You have social obligations and stuff that I just don’t want.” 

“I… can’t argue with that, I guess,” Tetsurou says slowly. “But, I mean, we’re soulmates, right? We’re meant for each other. We could probably work through all that.”

_ Tetsurou Kuroo is actually a romantic, then,  _ Kenma thinks, blinking. For some reason he hadn’t expected that to be the case. He actually wants Kenma.

_ For now,  _ Kenma reminds himself. He wants Kenma for now, because he wants the oh-so-romantic concept of spending your life with your soulmate. But once he realizes that Kenma avoids social contact with most people if at all possible and spends too much time playing video games and isn’t interesting in the least, he won’t want Kenma anymore. 

“I don’t think it’s the best idea.”

The two of them sit in silence for a second: Tetsurou probably in LA or wherever, Kenma in his small suburban town, and then Tetsurou clears his throat. “Well, sorry to bother you,” he says stiffly, and then the line goes dead. 

Kenma doesn’t know why, but he almost feels sad. 

.

And so Kenma returns to his regular routine once again: classes, work, but this time he avoids his friends and takes extra care to hide his soulmark, just in case. He gets the feeling that his friends may have been involved in this whole Tetsurou reaching out to him thing. And his feeling is confirmed when, two days later, he runs into Keiji in the coffee shop.

Shit. He’d just wanted a coffee. And the look on Keiji’s face is all too telling.

“Kenma,” he says. “Don’t you dare run.” 

Kenma glances around, calculating his escape routes. It’s too far to get to the front door, and it might be more trouble than it’s worth to try to take one of the emergency exits out - he’s been trying to avoid getting in trouble, after all. Therefore, it seems, he’s trapped. He groans. “What do you want, Keiji?”

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Keiji says matter-of-factly, which he can’t argue with because it’s true. “And you told Tetsurou Kuroo that you weren’t interested in him.” Also a fact.

“Why do you care?” Kenma asks, since he can’t exactly say any of that’s untrue.

“Well, my soulmate, Bo... he is in a band,” Keiji admits. 

So it had been Keiji that orchestrated the entire thing, after all. And his soulmate is Koutarou Bokuto of Full Soul! And Keiji hadn’t thought to mention it somehow, as if it hadn’t been important. Kenma grits his teeth. “You lied to me.”

“I didn’t lie,” Keiji insists. “I simply left that information out, because I knew that you’d react like this.”

“And you - what, you told him my phone number?!”

“I may have given it to Koutarou once I knew for sure that the soulmarks were the same, yes. And then he gave it to Tetsurou.” Keiji sighs. “Listen, Kenma. I know you’re anti-soulmate and anti-Tetsurou. But Koutarou is very fond of Tetsurou. He insists he’s a good guy - one of the best guys he’s ever met, and nothing at all like he comes off in the media. And he’s also a huge romantic.” That much had been obvious in their short conversation, Kenma thinks. “He’s dreamed his entire life about finding his soulmate, only for you to show up and say you’re not interested in talking to him, even.”

“I didn’t say that,” Kenma mutters petulantly. “I just said that I don’t think we’d work well together. What, would it be worse to lead him on and let him think he has a chance?” 

“No,” Keiji says. “But can’t you at least be friends with him? Who knows, maybe you’re platonic soulmates or something. It’s happened.”

“Doubt it.”

“Kenma. At least give it a try. Tetsurou has been devastated over this, and I don’t see how it could hurt to give it just one shot. If you do, I swear I’ll leave it alone, and I will also ensure that Shouyou leaves it alone.”

“What - you told Shouyou?!” Kenma glances at his phone, seeing that it’s being blown up with various texts along the lines of “you should give it a chance!” and “kenma hes your SOULMATE!!!”. “You’re evil,” he says accusatorily.

“Only for a good purpose,” Keiji replies with a smirk. “What do you say?”

“Fine,” Kenma relents, though he has the sinking feeling that it’s a terrible idea.  “I guess it couldn’t hurt.”

.

Tetsurou texts him again the very next day. “Hi Kenma,” he says. “Sorry I hung up on you. I’ve had this romanticized ideal of what my soulmate would be, and I guess I was a little upset when that didn’t pan out in reality. But it wasn’t fair of me to take that out on you.”

“i get it,” Kenma replies, and then “i shouldn’t have been so harsh. i just wasn’t expecting it to be you of all people, no offense.”

“Not a fan of me?” comes the response. “Don’t worry, I’m not so much a fan of myself either.”

“it’s not just that. i’m not really fond of the spotlight. so anyone famous would be a problem, i guess.”

“That makes sense. I’m sorry to disappoint then. But I still hope we can be friends.”

“friends is fine,” Kenma says, even though he doesn’t believe it and doesn’t really think their ‘friendship’ will extend beyond a couple of weeks at most. Although, he hadn’t been expecting an apology, nor had he expected Tetsurou to come off as so… self-deprecating. He’d always come off as confident, obnoxiously so. 

“Tell me about yourself then, Kenma. First, let’s start with the most important thing - music taste. You get a festival lineup of five artists slash bands, alive or dead. Who are you choosing?”

It takes Kenma some time to consider, but he sends back his answer within a few minutes, which sets the two of them off on a debate. Tetsurou agrees with a few of his choices, but thinks that a few could be reconsidered - “you seriously think that My Chemical Romance belongs up there with the greats?”, which Kenma thinks is an affront to the legendary Gerard Way, thank you very much. They go back and forth about what bands deserve a spot. Surprisingly, despite his status in Kenma’s mind as a complete sellout, he doesn’t say any bands that Kenma would consider to be sellouts. No - his takes on music are interesting and somewhat similar to Kenma’s own. Kenma’s brain feels like it has a glitch. This doesn’t compute with what he knows about Tetsurou Kuroo, the sellout who’s just like every other famous drone in the scene. Conversations with Tetsurou shouldn’t be…  _ interesting.  _

But this conversation is. And Kenma hates to admit that, and he hates that he’s reluctant to go to bed because he’s having an  _ interesting  _ conversation with Tetsurou. It’s disgusting, truly. 

It’s just about this one thing, though, Kenma reassures himself. There’s no way that  _ Tetsurou Kuroo  _ is interesting through and through. And even beyond that, there’s no way that Tetsurou Kuroo will find someone like him interesting. Tetsurou’s sure to find that out soon.

And he won’t be sad at all when Tetsurou’s texts slowly become less and less as time passes. Not at all.

.

The next day, he wakes up to a text saying, “Good morning, hope you slept well!” from Tetsurou. Kenma’s brow narrows - it’s not the kind of thing he’d expect from Tetsurou either. It’s actually -  _ considerate.  _ Like he’s thinking about Kenma even when he wakes up in the morning.

But Kenma doesn’t care at all. He’s only talking to Tetsurou to be nice, after all.

And, a few hours later, Tetsurou sends him the text that Kenma’s pretty sure the response to will end their texting relationship or whatever, the text that’s going to drive Tetsurou away. “What do you do with your spare time?”

Kenma’s always been more worried than most about what others think about him. Regardless, he decides that this is a situation that requires blunt honesty. “i play video games. a lot of video games. and i go to university.”

He holds his breath, waiting for the response that he’s sure is never coming. But just a few minutes later, his phone buzzes. “Damn, that’s cool! What are your favorite games? I used to play a lot of Metal Gear and shit growing up, but not so much anymore. And what’s your major?”

He… wants to know? Kenma raises an eyebrow. He’d definitely not expected this response. But it’s probably just that Tetsurou’s being nice. Either that, or he doesn’t understand the full extent of Kenma’s gaming habits. So Kenma gives a fairly extensive list, emphasizing that he plays  _ a lot  _ of video games. Still, Tetsurou replies, choosing specific games that he’d like to play with Kenma, commenting on Kenma’s opinions, just genuinely… acting interested.

Probably just because he’s Kenma’s soulmate, Kenma reminds himself, and he wants Kenma to like him. But regardless, it’s kind of nice to have someone listen to him and discuss with him the games that he loves. Even if it is  _ Tetsurou Kuroo,  _ of all people.

Tetsurou will get tired eventually.

.

Weeks pass, though, and somehow Tetsurou hasn’t gotten tired of him yet. He keeps texting Kenma almost all the time, about everything. He tells him about his band members, asks Kenma about his friends, about his major. He wants to know  _ everything  _ about Kenma. Kenma keeps trying to subtly hint that it’s not that important for Tetsurou to know, since Kenma’s not exactly interested in him and never will be, but Tetsurou doesn’t seem to pick up on it - either that, or he doesn’t care. 

Kenma doesn’t understand. It almost seems like he’s interested in Kenma not just on account of Kenma being his soulmate or whatever, but because he actually enjoys talking to Kenma. It makes Kenma feel weird - not necessarily a bad weird, he supposes, but weird nonetheless. 

He meets Keiji at the coffee shop for coffee after class and his phone buzzes beside him. Kenma decides it’s not a good idea to reply to the text while Keiji is with him, but his eyes dart over to the phone nonetheless, and that’s enough for Keiji somehow. “Who’s that?” Keiji asks, the look in his eyes indicating he’ll be able to tell if Kenma’s lying.

Kenma decides to lie nonetheless. Telling the truth seems too revealing. “No one. Probably somebody from my group project in Web Design texting me again.”

Keiji stares at him evenly. “So you haven’t been texting Tetsurou?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“So you have, then?”

“I didn’t say that, either,” Kenma replies. God, this is the last conversation he wants to be having right now.

“Please, don’t let me keep you from replying to him. I think it would be a good thing for you to branch out,” Keiji tells him. “It could be good for you.”

“You don’t know what’s good for me,” Kenma says sulkily, but he picks up the phone nonetheless. The text reads “Hey, have you played the The Walking Dead game series? I was watching some gameplay online and I’m pretty fucked up now.” He’s trying to make conversation about things Kenma’s interested in, Kenma thinks, which is… weird, again. Weird in the way that it makes Kenma’s stomach get tied up in knots. He stares at his phone.

“Is something wrong?” Keiji asks.

“No,” Kenma says, quickly typing up a response: “yeah, i have. did you just finish the first season? it had me fucked up for a while too.”

There’s a little smile on Keiji’s face when Kenma looks up again. Kenma scowls at him in response. He can tell what Keiji’s thinking: that him talking to Tetsurou is a sign that Kenma’s going to give in and date Tetsurou, which he’s absolutely not going to do. Keiji thinks that since he and his soulmate are in a loving relationship that everyone has to be. But some soulmates, apparently, just aren’t like that. “I’m just trying not to be an asshole,” Kenma grumbles. 

His phone buzzes again, and Kenma grabs it, reading the “Yeah, what the hell? I wasn’t ready for him to die like that,” before he glances up at Keiji again. “Whatever you say,” Keiji says, the smile on his face growing bigger. 

It’s annoying. Kenma replies to Tetsurou anyways.

.

Weeks pass, then over a month. Kenma and Tetsurou keep texting. The main problem, though, is that Tetsurou is… really nothing like he is in the interviews. He’s funny, interesting, and doesn’t talk like a fucking robot. But Kenma reads the lyrics of his latest song and thinks,  _ How did the guy I’m texting write  _ this? He thinks that maybe he’s the subject of a prank, maybe someone else has been texting him this entire time.

It’s for that reason alone that when Tetsurou asks him if he wants to call, he says, “i guess.” Only for that reason. He wants to see if Tetsurou is the same person that he’s been texting, if on the call he’s as interesting and amusing and straight up charming. Not because he actually wants to call Tetsurou, of course.

Tetsurou tells him he’ll call him in five minutes. Kenma freaks out a little bit, glancing at his reflection in the mirror. His hair is probably getting too long; it’s been months since his last haircut. He brushes his hair - for once - and gathers it up into a ponytail, allowing a few strands to fall out so that he feels less insecure. Then he puts on a non-dirty hoodie, picks up a few things that might be in the background of the call, and answers Tetsurou’s FaceTime call.

“Hey,” Tetsurou says after answering. “Thanks for agreeing to talk to me. Honestly, wasn’t sure you would.”

“Yeah, well,” Kenma says, then realizes he has no reason for answering that he can tell Tetsurou. So he finishes with a soft, “I had nothing better to do.”

“Of course,” Tetsurou says, chuckling. “Anyways, listen, I’ve been watching all these fuckin’ playthroughs, and now I really want to actually play games. You’re a bad influence, you know that? But you’re the expert, y’know. So I need you to tell me what system I should get. One that’ll work well on the road, and maybe with some multiplayer games so I can rope the rest of my band into playing with me.” 

Hm, Kenma thinks. He really knows how to get Kenma talking. The guy learns quickly. He launches into a speech anyways, talking about the pros and cons of each system, and Tetsurou listens. Tetsurou listens, too, after he asks about Kenma’s favorite game of all time and Kenma launches into a monologue about how it’s impossible to choose just  _ one,  _ maybe one by genre, but even that would be almost impossible. And then Tetsurou lets him ask questions too. Kenma asks why he’d started a band - “because I love music and I’d wanted to spread that love,” Tetsurou answers. Kenma asks if he has any nicknames, to which he answers that some people call him Tetsu, which Kenma thinks is boring. Tetsurou challenges him to come up with something better, and Kenma settles on “Kuro” - like black in Japanese, in accordance with the color of his messy hair, and determines to call him that.

And then Kenma asks the fateful question that’s been on his mind for forever.

“What happened to you, then, Kuro?”

“Huh?” Tetsurou asks. “What d’you mean?”

“I used to be a fan of Neko,” Kenma says. “Your music was interesting and fresh. The lyrics were… deep, I guess. But now it’s all the same shit. The lyrics feel like they’re written by bots who read every love song out there and then created their own. And you don’t have any life in interviews.” He adds the last part quietly. “Not like you do now.”

“Ah,” Tetsurou says, and then sighs. “I… you’re right. But it’s not my fault, unfortunately. I have no say in the doings of Neko anymore. We signed with this label who promised to get us popular and famous and rich. And they did, but there were so many stipulations that we didn’t notice. They have to help us write our lyrics to be the most “radio friendly” possible. There are restrictions on what we can say in our interviews. So all of us, but I guess me especially, started developing these personas. The radio friendly, viewer friendly, cookie-cutter band members. And I tend to slip into it more than I’d like to.” He exhales. “But with you, it’s easier. I don’t… I haven’t been slipping into that persona as much.”

Kenma takes a second to take it all in, chewing on his lip, and then says, “That’s bullshit.”

“Wha - I’m telling you the truth! I swear! And you’re one of the only people who knows - “

“No, I know you’re telling the truth,” Kenma interrupts. “But it’s bullshit that a record label can control your life like that.”

“If we duck out of the contract early, then it’s all over. We could be sued for millions of dollars. Our lives would be ruined.”

“Yeah,” Kenma says. “It’s still bullshit, though. I think people would like you more if you were yourself.”

Tetsurou’s quiet for a second, an alarming sort of quiet, before he says, “Hey, are you saying that you  _ like  _ me, then?”

“Wha - no.”

“That’s what it sounds like to me.”

“I’m just saying that you would be more likable if you were a normal human being instead of a robot.”

“Mmm. But that implies you find my personality more likable than a robot’s.”

“Fine, I’ll give you that much.”

“I’ll take it,” Tetsurou says, his voice bright, and Kenma finds himself giving a tiny laugh. On the screen, he notices that Tetsurou’s eyes get a little bigger and his cheeks a little pinker. But it’s probably just a problem with the connection, he thinks, because there’s no way that Tetsurou would be  _ into  _ him like that. He’s a failure of a soulmate, of that he’s well aware.

That’s what he has to keep reminding himself, at least.

.

Talking to Tetsurou on the phone hadn’t been the worst thing Kenma had ever experienced. Therefore, they start to make it a weekly thing. Every Sunday night that he’s free - or Monday if he’s not, Tetsurou FaceTimes him, and Kenma debates whether to answer before he eventually does. They talk about any and everything - games, movies, music, their lives, their interests. Tetsurou tells him about the wild stories from the tours back in the day. Tetsurou continues to be what he argues is his ‘authentic’ self - not at all the guy from the interviews. He continues to be  _ interesting.  _ And Kenma’s not sure how to feel about that.

One call, Tetsurou calls him because he’s in the middle of an argument with his bandmate and he wants to complain, Kenma supposes. “Don’t get me wrong,” Tetsurou says, “I love Morisuke, but the dude loves to bitch at me about everything. Today it was because I took the last of the milk.”

“Can’t you just buy more milk?” Kenma asks.

“See, that’s what I said, but apparently it’s the  _ principle of the matter _ and the fact that he didn’t get his daily bowl of cereal. Maybe he’s just pissy because he didn’t get enough sugar. Hm. I’m sure daily sugar intake is correlated in some way to negative mood symptoms…”

“You could offer him a Snickers.”

“Shit, I think Nobuyuki might have a bag of Snickers in his bunk. You’re a genius, you know that?” Tetsurou says, his grin too big on the other screen. Kenma looks away. 

Sure enough, he texts Kenma later to tell him that Morisuke had become much more agreeable after Tetsurou had offered him a Snickers bar. Kenma rolls his eyes, but has to laugh to himself anyways. Stupid Tetsurou, making him laugh, he thinks. Stupid Tetsurou being  _ funny _ after Kenma had thought for so long that he could never be.

Another call, it’s Kenma calling to complain. “Some professors are so annoying,” he says. “He assigned a fifteen page paper that’s due in two weeks, and it’s on a topic I can talk about for maybe two pages.”

“Hey, you’ll be fine,” Tetsurou says encouragingly. “You’re smart.”

“You don’t know that.” 

“I totally do,” Tetsurou says. “Smarter than me, probably. I forgot all the shit I learned in high school already. But listen. You can do this paper. Even if you have to bullshit half of it. You’re gonna be fine. I’ll be your personal cheerleader against your annoying professor.”

And so Tetsurou does. Even after Kenma hangs up to attempt to write his paper for a while, Tetsurou keeps texting him. Most of them are just “You can do this” and “Keep writing,” sprinkled in with some tidbits of how his day is going. It’s weird to feel so cared for and encouraged, Kenma thinks. He’s not used to it.

And then, on another occasion, it’s something else altogether. “Hey, Kenma,” Tetsurou says when Kenma answers his FaceTime call. “You ever think about, like, the meaning of life?” 

“The meaning of life?” Kenma repeats. “Is… is everything okay, Kuro?”

“Yeah,” Tetsurou says. “I dunno, I was just contemplating things, y’know? My life has kind of fallen into a routine with the band shit and all, and it’s fine, I’m living my dreams or whatever, but sometimes I wonder if there’s something… more I should be doing.”

Kenma’s silent for a second before he says, “I think that, to me, the meaning of life is finding satisfaction in what you do, so in a way it’s whatever you want it to be. If you think life is about helping other people, that’s great. If you think it’s about bringing happiness, that’s great too. Just… feeling satisfied in what you’re doing and what you’re contributing to the world.”

Tetsurou gives a little, sarcastic laugh. “What if what you’re contributing to the world is terrible, generic music?”

Ugh. Kenma can’t argue with that, even though at this point, he kind of wants to. He bites his lip before he says, “That’s not all you contribute to the world.”

“Ha. Well, it is my job,” Tetsurou points out. “So it’s the most significant thing I do, and I feel like it’s not exactly helping anyone.”

“Don’t throw yourself a pity party,” Kenma says firmly. “If you want to make a change, that’s something that you have to do. If you don’t like what you’re doing, though, if you don’t feel satisfied… I’d advise doing  _ something  _ before you waste your entire life and come out unsatisfied at the end of it.”

Tetsurou’s quiet for a second, and Kenma thinks that he might have gone too far. But then Tetsurou laughs. “Shit,” he says. “I knew I made the right call, calling you. No one else would talk to me like that.”

“People probably should.”

“You’re right,” Tetsurou says, grinning at him stupidly. “I’m definitely in need of it from time to time. Tough love, or, uh, something like that. But you’re right. I’m just pitying myself right now. And… I’ll think about it. How I can make some kind of change. I’m sure there’s some way.”

“There always is,” Kenma says firmly, but he gives him a small smile in return. 

Tetsurou ducks his head down for a second, like he’s embarrassed, but after a couple of seconds, he picks his head back up. “Anyways, what do you think about that new Animal Crossing trailer? A fuckin’ island, huh?” And that sets Kenma back off on his gaming tangent again.

.

Time keeps passing, months and months, of Kenma and Tetsurou talking. They keep discussing everything under the sun, and Kenma even talks to him about topics he seldom discusses with anyone else: things like the anxiety he feels socially, about his family, about his future anxieties. And in return, Tetsurou also opens up, speaking with a vulnerability Kenma’s never really seen in any of his new songs or interviews. He talks about his own family problems, the way his mother had died when he was young and left Tetsurou with a fear of attachment that had made it hard for him to actually make lasting friends for a long time, about how his dad had all but checked out afterwards, leaving Tetsurou to be raised by two aging grandparents. Kenma isn’t sure what to say after all that, but he gives his reassurances and tells him that Tetsurou, can, has moved past it. And that his mom would be proud of him.

“I don’t know about that,” Tetsurou says.

“It’s not always about your music, dumbass,” Kenma says. “Of the person you’ve become.”

Tetsurou peers at the screen. “Huh, what’s that I hear? You think I’m a good person?”

“Shut up,” Kenma says. “I’m not going to just say that.”

“But you do.”

“I’m not going to say it, Kuro.”

“Somehow,” Tetsurou says softly, “hearing it from you means more than it coming from anyone else.”

Kenma doesn’t know what to say to that. It feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room suddenly. He clears his throat, then starts coughing. “Uh,” he says. “I think I need some water. I’ll be back.”

When he gets back, Tetsurou changes the subject, and Kenma can’t help but feel grateful.

Things keep escalating at a speed that Kenma can’t quite keep up with. And then, one day, Tetsurou says, “Uh, you live in Chicago, right?”

“Yeah, I do,” Kenma confirms. “Why?”

“We’re playing a show there next Sunday night,” Tetsurou says. “I was wondering if you, uh, maybe wanted to come? I could get you tickets. And, uh, maybe we could get food after or something?”

Kenma feels his heart fall in his chest. He blinks rapidly, trying to keep himself grounded, trying not to freak out. Because the thing is, he kind of wants to go. It’s a stupid want, because he’s aware that meeting Tetsurou in person could quite possibly change everything. But maybe he’s a little bit stupid, because he says, “Uh, yeah. I guess that’d be okay.”

“I’ll get you two tickets, so you can bring whoever you want,” Tetsurou says. “Uh, any preferences for seating?”

“Wherever there’s the least amount of people around,” Kenma says. He definitely doesn’t want this experience to be made even worse by having people crowd him and make him start panicking.

“Okay, will do,” Tetsurou says, and the grin on his face seems too genuine. Kenma wonders if this had been the right thing to do after all. Meeting Kenma will only let Tetsurou down. But he can’t make himself say no somehow.

He decides that he’s going to ask Shouyou to come. Keiji would just be annoying about it, he assumes, and try to force him to do things that he does  _ not  _ want to do. Shouyou freaks out when Kenma asks, then says, “Wait, I thought you didn’t like Neko,” in a way that’s too smug. Fucking Keiji’s influence, Kenma thinks.

“I don’t,” Kenma says.

“But your soulmate is from Neko,” Shouyou sings, “so now you suddenly want to go see them.”

“It’s not like that. We’re just friends.” Friends, Kenma thinks with a shock. But there’s no other way of describing it. It’d be absurd to deny that someone he talks to pretty much daily isn’t his friend. 

“Friends,” Shouyou says, almost sarcastically, and Kenma decides he might murder Keiji for influencing Shouyou like this. “You’re friends with the Tetsurou Kuroo that you used to hate so much?”

“No. Yes. Shut up. He’s not what I thought he was, I guess.”

“Ahhh,” Shouyou says too smugly, and Kenma considers rescinding the invitation. He doesn’t, though, and the two of them set off Friday afternoon to drive into the city. It takes a while to find parking and everything, so by the time they get there, Kenma feels like his heart’s about to implode. “You nervous?” Shouyou asks.

“No,” Kenma lies. “What would I have to be nervous about?”

“Your date,” Shouyou says matter-of-factly.

“Don’t listen to the shit Keiji tells you. It’s not a date.”

“Okay,” Shouyou says, “except it totally is.”

Kenma suddenly hates his friends. He’d never date  _ Tetsurou Kuroo,  _ of all people. Except - the concept of who he’d thought Tetsurou Kuroo was seems completely at odds with who he knows  _ Kuro  _ is to him now. And would he date the Kuro he knows?

It’s a moot point, though. Tetsurou doesn’t like him like that, and he doesn’t like Tetsurou like that. No reason to worry about it.

Or so he tells himself as he walks into the stadium.

The concert is okay, Kenma guesses. They play a lot of the songs Kenma hates, and without the energy Kenma’s come to expect from Tetsurou’s. Tetsurou’s speeches don’t feel like they’re coming from  _ him,  _ either. Kenma supposes the label must have written them for him too. 

He does play a song from one of their old albums, though, and Kenma can almost see the spark return to his eyes when he sings it. He has a little more energy as he dances around, bellowing the lyrics into the mic. Kenma feels a smile tug at his lips, though he darkens his expression when Shouyou looks over at him. 

And then, the concert’s over, and Kenma’s phone buzzes. “Meet me around the back,” Tetsurou’s text reads. “I’ll be waiting for you.” And a smiley face. It’s gross.

“Y’know, I would be mad at you for ditching me, but if it’s for your soulmate, I guess I can’t be that mad,” Shouyou says.

“I’m not ditching you,” Kenma grumbles. “You can come if you want.”

“I’m not third wheeling  _ again _ ,” Shouyou protests. “I had my share of that with Kei and Tadashi already, I’ll have you know.”

“You wouldn’t be third wheeling.”

“Yeah right,” Shouyou says, and Kenma hates his friends all over again. 

He heads around back by himself, Shouyou wishing him good luck in a way that makes Kenma’s skin crawl. And then he lays eyes upon Tetsurou Kuroo for the first time up close, in the flesh, and Kenma feels his breath stutter in his throat.  _ Oh, shit. He’s… hot. _

And then Kenma’s soulmark starts burning.

He wants to run, but he’s frozen on the spot, and then Tetsurou’s walking over to him so it’s too late. “Kenma,” he says with a smile. “Hey. Thanks for coming.”

Kenma’s brain feels like it’s about to incinerate. He has to get himself together, though, he thinks, and he says, “Uh, hi. Your concert was… decent.”

It’s kind of rude, Kenma thinks afterwards, but Tetsurou doesn’t seem to mind. He laughs. “Always so honest,” he says, and then, “Well, it wasn’t my best work, that’s for sure. But like I said, there’s not much I can do about it.” He shrugs. “I played an old song, though, specifically for you. I hope you liked that one, at least.”

“I did,” Kenma admits. “Where’d you want to go eat?”

Tetsurou grimaces. “There’s not a lot open at this hour,” he says. “If it were up to me, I’d wanna go somewhere nice, but well, it’s like, fast food or fuckin’ Waffle House.”

“Waffle House is fine,” Kenma says, already salivating a little at the thought of chocolate chip pancakes with a ton of whipped cream on top.  _ Delicious.  _

“Ha,” Tetsurou says, “I recognize that look. You’re hungry, huh? Well, let’s get out of here, then.”

There’s a Waffle House within walking distance, it turns out. The two walk close together, their arms almost brushing, and Kenma feels weird about it but also doesn’t want to move further away for some weird reason. God, he thinks as he looks over at Tetsurou. His soulmate is actually fucking Tetsurou Kuroo, who he’d been disdainful of for years. Thousands of people all over the world would kill to switch places with Kenma. But for some reason, the universe had thrown Kenma into his world.

“You like sweet stuff, right?” Tetsurou asks once they sit down. “Bet you want the chocolate chip pancakes.”

Shit. He’d guessed right. That’s kind of terrifying, Kenma thinks, but maybe it’s not too much of a hard thing for him to guess. Kenma bites his lip and nods. “Yeah.”

Tetsurou grins, and then starts asking him about games again, asking him if he’d beat the level he’d been stuck on for days now and then about the music he’d been listening to lately, which leads to another spirited music debate. It’s the same kind of natural conversations they had over text and on the phone, and Kenma feels himself falling into it too easily. 

“You can’t say that The Black Parade isn’t influential in today’s scene,” Kenma argues around a bite of his pancake. “That’s just a disingenous argument.” 

“I’m not saying that,” Tetsurou responds, chewing on a piece of bacon. “But I’m just sayin’, they weren’t the first band to do something like that, y’know? There were so many bands before them that they were influenced by.” 

“Every band has been influenced by someone,” Kenma says. “Find me a band who hasn’t been influenced by someone. All the greats were influenced by the greats before them. And I’m  _ sure  _ you’ve been influenced by bands too.”

“Ha, you got me there,” Tetsurou says, smiling softly as he picks up a piece of his waffle. “I guess I can kind of see your point. Even if I don’t revere them the way you seem to.” 

“Shut up,” Kenma says with a little bit of a laugh. But the expression of shock and the tiny blush on Tetsurou’s cheeks can’t be a glitch or a trick of the camera this time.

_ Shit,  _ Kenma thinks, his stomach twisting into knots. Knots that only grow bigger as Tetsurou insists on paying for him - “You’re a student! You need to save your money for your education,” and then walks with him outside of the restaurant. 

“Uh, my friend Shouyou drove me here,” he says. “He said he’s on his way to pick me up.”

“Ah, great,” Tetsurou says with a smile. “Well, I had a really good time. I hope you did too.”

Kenma lets his mouth quirk up into a smile. “It wasn’t awful.”

“Hah,” Tetsurou says. “I’ll take it.”

And then, Tetsurou starts leaning forward, like he’s going to kiss Kenma. And in that moment, Kenma wants him to. He  _ really, really  _ wants him to. 

But then he comes to his senses.

He steps back, his eyes big. “I told you I don’t want anything like that,” he says angrily, even though his heart screams the opposite:  _ I do, I do, I do.  _ But he can’t. He can’t date Tetsurou Kuroo, of all people. Tetsurou will get bored of him, even if he doesn’t get tired of Tetsurou. They were never meant to be. The two of them being assigned as ‘soulmates’ was a cosmic mistake, nothing more. 

Tetsurou’s face falls, his eyes getting wider. “I’m so sorry,” he says quickly. “I shouldn’t have - I wasn’t thinking. It won’t happen again.”

Kenma knows there’s only one thing he can do now. He’d been far too close to losing control, to responding to Tetsurou’s kiss, to falling into him the way he’d promised himself he wouldn’t. He steps back, shaking his head. “You’re right,” he says. “It won’t. Because we’re not going to talk anymore.”

“Kenma -” Tetsurou starts.

“No. I can’t talk to you any more, not after this. I won’t,” Kenma says vehemently. “It’s like I told you in the first place. The two of us being soulmates was just a mistake.”

By some act of the universe, Shouyou pulls up at that exact moment, and Kenma turns over his shoulder to get in the car, ignoring Tetsurou’s apologies. As Kenma shuts the door and Shouyou drives away, Kenma casts a look back at Tetsurou, his heart squeezing inside of his chest.

“Is something wrong?” Shouyou asks.

“No,” Kenma says, settling back in his seat. “Nothing.”

.

And so Kenma shuts Tetsurou out of his life completely. He ignores Tetsurou’s texts until they stop altogether. He doesn’t take any calls. If Keiji or Shouyou brings it up, he changes the subject or flat out says that he doesn’t want to talk about it. He pretends that nothing had ever happened: that the two of them aren’t soulmates.

However, what he hadn’t expected was for it to be this… difficult.

In the morning, he checks his texts. He knows logically that there will be nothing waiting for him, but there’s a pang in his heart upon seeing there’s no “good morning” text from Tetsurou. He plays his usual games, but every time he does, he thinks about Tetsurou. He thinks about how Tetsurou had liked  _ that  _ character or Tetsurou had watched a playthrough of that game or what Tetsurou would think of that moment and he thinks he might be actually going crazy. Beyond all this, too, the days just feel blander, more black and white, less colorful. He feels less energetic and keeps falling asleep in his classes. He looks forward to the days less.

It’s ridiculous. He never even wanted a soulmate really, much less one like Tetsurou. And now the universe has screwed him over once again.

He just can’t stop thinking about it. And that’s why, one day, he finally gives in to Keiji’s ridiculous pestering.

“Fine,” he says, putting his head on the table. “Yes, I stopped talking to Tetsurou. He tried to kiss me. Okay?”

“He… he did?” Keiji looks alarmed. “He’s falling in love with you, then. And you don’t reciprocate his feelings.”

“Of course not,” Kenma snaps. “But I don’t know, I didn’t expect it to be so hard not to talk to him. I can’t stop fucking thinking about him. Everything I see reminds me of him. It’s so… so  _ stupid _ . But I don’t know what to do.”

“Kenma,” Keiji says gently. “Are you sure that you don’t return his feelings?”

What the hell is Keiji talking about? Of course he’s sure. It’s Tetsurou Kuroo, after all. But it’s also  _ Kuro  _ \- Kuro who sends him sweet good morning texts and tries to be interested in the things he’s interested in and knows what he wants to order before he can order it and blushes when Kenma smiles and. And.

And shit. Maybe Kenma does have a pretty massive crush on Tetsurou after all. 

Kenma groans, hitting his head against the table. “Shit, Keiji.”

“Yes, I thought so.”

“What the hell am I supposed to do about it? He’s not texting me back.”

Keiji frowns, then types something into his phone and hands it over to Kenma - a list of Neko’s upcoming tour dates. “You know,” he says dryly, “it’s not exactly hard to track down your soulmate when he’s in a band.”

“The Chicago show is sold out,” Kenma says. 

“So?” Keiji says. “There are 15 other shows on that list.”

“Want to road trip with me?” Kenma asks hopefully. This, he thinks, is one of the problems with being a student without a car. 

Keiji rolls his eyes, but says, “Only if you promise never to be an idiot about this again.”

“Fine,” Kenma says. “Fine. I just need to do this one thing.”

And so they do. They choose the Detroit show, since it’s on that weekend and they won’t have to miss classes. He feels on edge all week, unable to concentrate on lectures and homework and his usual monotony in the same way. His dreams are filled with stupid Tetsurou. It’s a lot harder to block him out now that Kenma’s seen him in person.

“Let’s go get you your soulmate,” Keiji says once he pulls up to Kenma’s dorm that Friday. Kenma gives him a glare, but jumps in nonetheless.

The drive is four and a half hours - not terrible, but still not enjoyable for someone like Kenma, who hates driving in the first place. They end up booking a shitty hotel room just for two nights, which of course Kenma pays for. He doesn’t sleep much the night before the show, though. His head is too full.

And then the time of the show rolls around. Keiji gives his arm a gentle squeeze. “You’re going to be find,” he says reassuringly. “Koutarou says he talked about you all the time.”

“Talk _ ed _ .”

“Yes, before you broke his heart.”

“Shut up,” Kenma says. He sits down in one of the hard stadium seats, his heart hammering. He’d paid extra for a seat that’s not too far from the stage, close enough that Tetsurou should be able to see him. And that’s what scares Kenma the most. 

He jiggles his leg through the opener, feeling like he might just explode. And then, finally, Neko takes the stage.

The show this time feels - different. Kenma notices quickly that this setlist consists of more old songs, and the way Tetsurou speaks feels less like the fake Tetsurou and more like his Kuro. Then Tetsurou announces that they’re going to be playing a new song. Kenma raises an eyebrow.

It’s a love song, which makes Kenma’s breath catch in his throat. But even beyond that, the lyrics have a different feel. They feel like Tetsurou actually wrote them. They’re written with authentic emotion, love and a tinge of what feels like heartbreak, which makes Kenma feel guilty all of a sudden. And then… Tetsurou’s eyes fall on him. 

His eyes widen. He jumps a little, enough so that he almost drops the mic. He fumbles it back into his grip, then gets back to singing, but Kenma thinks he almost sees a tear in the corner of his eyes, and it seems like he’s singing the song with even more passion before. Kenma’s nails dig into his thigh.  _ Calm down, calm down, calm down. _

The band plays a few more songs, but Kenma can’t pay attention. His head is still buzzing.  _ He saw me.  _ Then, after the band leaves the stage, his phone buzzes. 

“If you want to - and only if you want to, no pressure of course - meet me backstage.”

Kenma barely even has time to blink. He makes some kind of indication to Keiji, who just smiles, and then takes off running. 

He gets to security, who look at him for just a second before nodding and letting him back. He heads down a long hallway until he hears someone say, “Kenma. Here.”

Kenma steps into the room and strides over to Tetsurou. “Hi,” he says, a little breathlessly. 

“Hey,” Tetsurou says.

“I’m sorry,” Kenma says, the words tumbling out of him all at once. “I was being stupid. I didn’t mean anything that I said. It’s not a mistake that we’re soulmates. I just…” He takes a deep breath. The next thing is going to be hard to admit, though necessary, of course. “I didn’t want to admit to myself that I might be in love with you.”

Tetsurou freezes in front of him, his eyes the size of saucers, a slow red spreading over his cheeks. “W-what?” he stammers out. “Are you serious?”

Kenma looks at the Tetsurou in front of him, wholly unlike the self-absorbed, obnoxious man he’d constructed in his mind after watching Tetsurou’s videos. His soulmark starts to burn again, but this time, less unpleasant, more like an indication - an indication that he’s doing the right thing. A small smile makes its way onto his face, and certainty clutches at his heart. “Yeah,” he says softly. “I’m serious.”

Tetsurou steps forward once again, reaching out to cradle Kenma’s cheek, his touch soft and warm. “Do you mind if I…” he says, trailing off, but his gaze falling on Kenma’s lips is all that Kenma needs to understand. 

“Please do,” Kenma whispers, and then lets Tetsurou take the step forward. This time, Kenma doesn’t even think about moving back. He lets Tetsurou brush his lips against Kenma’s - gentle at first, but once Kenma shows no signs of hesitation, a little bit more aggressively. He threads his fingers into Kenma’s hair, holding on like Kenma’s going to slip away. Kenma tries to communicate through his kiss that he’s not going anywhere, that this is for good this time. His soulmark burns with that pleasant warmth again. His soulmark with two cats, two cats that he now realizes are representative of him and Tetsurou: he the calico cat, Tetsurou the black cat. Two cats whose lives have now become irrevocably intertwined.

Tetsurou pulls back, his expression tender as he looks at Kenma. “I’m sorry too,” he says quietly. “I shouldn’t have tried that without knowing if you were ready. But hey, whatever happened to the whole ‘we’ll never be romantic’ thing?”

Kenma turns away. His face is burning, he knows, which is completely embarrassing. “Well, it turns out that you’re not who I thought you were.”

“In a good way, right?” 

“Sure, if that’s what you want to think.”

“It’d have to be in a good way,” Tetsurou proclaims, pressing kisses to Kenma’s forehead, the top of his head, then his cheek. It’s completely embarrassing and disgusting, and yet Kenma finds that he actually likes it.

“So, what? You actually like me?” Kenma says, his eyes darting to the ground.

“Let me be clear here,” Tetsurou says. “I’ve always liked you. Even when you were rude to me, because I’d always been worried about my soulmate being a fan and how that dynamic would turn out. But having you hate the image of me that I portrayed to the media means that I can be sure that you’re in love with me, the real me. And of course, you being one of the most interesting - and the cutest - people I’ve ever met doesn’t hurt either.”

“You’re exaggerating,” Kenma says. 

“I’m not exaggerating at all.”

“You are too.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.” 

“Am not. Anyways, yes, I actually like you. I’m pretty in love with you, I think.” He brushes Kenma’s cheek with his finger. “Was that something you were worried about?”

“I mean,” Kenma says, “you’re a rock star. I’m just a college student that does almost nothing, just classes and video games and going to coffee shops to get harassed by my friends.”

“Harassed? About what?”

Kenma decides some things are definitely better kept secret. “Nothing.”

“Anyways, I’m a pretty boring rock star as far as they come,” Tetsurou says, flashing him a smile. “I’ve just been waiting for my soulmate to come and sweep me off my feet. And he definitely did.”

Kenma is completely sure that he’d never done that. “I did not.” 

“And you’re not boring. Like I said, you’re one of the most interesting people I’ve ever had a conversation with. I feel like I can talk to you about anything, and I love that.” 

God, can Tetsurou ever sweet talk. Kenma’s never been this embarrassed in his life. There’s nowhere to run, though, nowhere to hide, so he leans his head into Tetsurou’s chest to keep his face disguised. “Stop,” he mumbles into Tetsurou’s  _ surprisingly built  _ chest. He doesn’t know why he’s surprised, though - Tetsurou’s chest is certainly one of the biggest talking points of his fandom.

“Awww, is Kenma not used to being complimented?” Tetsurou coos. “Fine. I’ll change the subject. How’d you like tonight’s show?”

Kenma pulls back and raises an eyebrow at him. “The new song… how’d you get to play that? It felt like it was more genuine. More  _ you _ .”

“I told them that I was done,” Tetsurou says. “I didn’t care how much money I lost getting sued. I couldn’t do this anymore. And apparently having me as an asset was better than going through all the court troubles, because they agreed to renegotiate, and I’ve got a little more freedom now.” He beams. “No longer fully a corporate puppet.”   
  


“Shit,” Kenma says. “That’s… well, that’s amazing, Kuro. I’m happy for you.”

“Ha, you don’t even know,” Tetsurou says, beaming. “I’m the happiest man alive right now. Everything’s looking up. Now, come on. I’m starving. Come get some food with me?”

“Uh, okay,” Kenma says. “But… I mean, I know you’re famous and used to being in the spotlight. That’s not really my thing, though. I don’t like a lot of attention.”

“Don’t worry,” Tetsurou says, wrapping his arms around Kenma, pulling him closer to Tetsurou’s chest. “I’m not gonna let the media get their hands on you. Some things are just too precious to share with the rest of the world.” 

“You’re so gross,” Kenma mumbles. 

“If we’re gonna go out to dinner again, you should probably wear sunglasses and a hoodie,” Tetsurou says apologetically. “If the media catches on to us going to dinner together multiple times, they’ll start invading your privacy and shit. So… I’m sorry about that.”

Kenma takes the sunglasses and hoodie that Tetsurou offers with a sigh and puts them on, pulling the hood over his head. It’s a lot of trouble, he thinks, this entire thing is. Nor is it what he’d expected. He’d never thought he could end up dating and pretty damn in love with the lead singer of Neko, of all people.

But, as he chows down on the stack of pancakes Tetsurou had bought him and wakes up to a good morning text (with a multitude of hearts) from Tetsurou (that, of course, Keiji smiles and shakes his head knowingly at) and calls Tetsurou the next night because Tetsurou’s voice is soothing enough to help him fall asleep, he thinks it might just be worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Here's my fic for Day 4 of Kuroken Week, for University AU. I know I barely talked about university in this fic but let's pretend it isn't an excuse for me to write another self-indulgent band AU.  
> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed!


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